Broken Ballerina
by BloodyGlitterKunai
Summary: You know those boxes with the ballerinas that move when opened? If the ballerina breaks, its beyond repair. A ballerina with one leg doesn't work. Thankful I have...oh wait I had two legs. Not anymore. Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital cut if off. And he thinks I'll be alright? I'll prove him wrong. Stupid hospital. Stupid life!
1. Chapter 1

Everyone has seen the box. You know those boxes with the ballerinas that move when opened? If the ballerina breaks, its beyond repair. A ballerina with one leg doesn't work. Thankful I have...oh wait I had two legs. Not anymore. Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital cut if off.

I was four years old when the took me to the dance class. I remember whining as my foster mother dragged me in there. "Why?" I had asked. "You need a hobbie." She said. "No! I don't want one." I screamed. She sighed and we left. Then we came back. Again. And again. And again. I cried, screamed, and threw fits. And she brought me back again the next day. It was a routine. And then one day I gave up. I got into the tutu she bought me and I sat next to other girls. They didn't talk to me. They chatted to each other and messed up their routines. I was quiet. I watched. I learned. I absorbed. I sucessed! I was a dancing monster, as the other kids called me. I was a amazing dancer, they said. Another kid, Leah, got mad. So on our performance dance, my solo went perfect. My foster mother snapped a picture. And then with the group dance, she tripped me. So it looked like I ruined it. That was the first time I hated dance. Because everyone blamed me. And so did my foster mother. She was so embarrsed. So then I was moved to a new mother across town. She let me continue dance. And I absolutely hated it. I was perfect though. Graceful and perfect. Even as a kid. But I hated it. Because the teacher reminded me every second of my 'mess up' on stage. And it stung everytime.


	2. Chapter 2

I remember it clearly. I had been ten years old. He said that he would give me private lessons. He said it would improve my dancing. I agreed. It would help, I believed. Boy, was I wrong. He had been a friend of Miss Payton, my dance teacher, and had helped us with dance on several occasions. I was comfortable with him. That was my mistake. I remember greeting him with a big cheesy grin. I remember him acting weird. It was after hours and he had a key. He let me in and locked the door. He took me to the private room. All the rooms were sound proof, so each music didn't disturb the other age groups. I remember I got a bad feeling. He helped me with my solo. I needed help because I was falling behind the others. I had lost the spark I once had and desperately needed this extra lesson. I remember his odd stare at my body witb every twist and turn I made. I felt akward with this but I needed this. I starting a flip when he stopped me. He kept my upside down, my legs over my head, ready to flip. "I need to fix something." He claimed. I relaxed and he grabbed my legs. I was in a odd position so I didn't see the rope. I didn't see the roll of duck tape. All of a sudden, he roughly yanked my legs and tied them. I screamed. He flipped me and ducktapped my arms to the barres. He ripped off my tutu and tight yoga pants. I couldn't move but I could scream. He slapped my face and slammed my head against the wall. I felt dazed. Then he removed the rest of my clothes. Every single pieceHe then removed his own pants. And I screamed again. I remember it burned. It was a horrible pain. When he was down he released me and redressed me then redressed himself. He left me on the floor of the dance studio, withering in pain. He turned on a small lamp and turned off the light. He left the door unlocked just for me. I remember that every mirror that reflected me in that room, mocked me. The barres I had been taped to gave was giving me a wicked grin with its shadow across the wall. I sobbed my heart out...That was the second time I hated dancing.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm 13 now. I don't go to dance class since that incident. I felt dead. My passion for dance was mostly gone. However it was often I'd sneal out of my foster home, go to an old street where my real mother lived, and dance to my heart's content. It wasn't a rare sight. I always did. For hours at a time. My short dark hair framing my face, hiding my jade green eyes. No one lived on this street. I raised my right leg over my head and twirled, bending my left leg slightly. It made spinning easier. I turned and saw from a window, two blue eyes staring down at me. I blinked. And it was gone. Had I imagined those eyes? I shook my head. It was odd, I'll admit. I turned and slid my black flats on. I decided to walk to my newest home. My newest mother, Addison wasn't horrible. She was anything but. She has long blond hair and these kind loving grey eyes. She desperately tried to...to...I don't know what she wants. For the past three years, she has celebrated my birthday, made a big fuss over everything, and told me she loved me every five seconds. I sighed and opened the door to our apartment. It was only me and her. "Sweetie, are you here?" Addison came out with that big smile on her face she always had. "Yeah, I'm here, Addison." I said loudly. "Call me Mom, Jay." Addison smiled. "Lunch is almost ready.""Thanks, Addison." I smiled akwardly. I ran to my room and laid on my bed. I had a small TV in my room and flipped it on. What showed up was a episode of Dance Moms. I almost laughed. "My daughter didn't get a solo." I mocked. In reality I loved the show. "Jay-Jay!" I heard Addison's sweet voice. I groaned and got up. I stretched and danced my way out there. "I made your favorite! Shrimp Alfredo." Addison set the plate in front of me. "Thank you, Addison." I said quietly. She wrapped her dainty arms around me. "It's Mom." She whispered. She went back to the kitchen and I ate my lunch in peace. I wouldn't call her mom. Eventually she'd get rid of me. Why get attatched? I quietly put my dishes in the sink. I got the soap out and started washing my dish and the pans used to make my meal. Addison came in at this time. "Jaylyn Alvarez! I do the dishes!" Addison smiled disaprovingly. "It's fine." I said. Alvarez was my real mother's last name. My full name is Jaylyn Victoria Alvarez.I'm called Jay. I refused to except Addison's name of Hail. Jaylyn Victoria Hail. Nope. I'm NOT her child. I finished and walked back to my room. My room was painted blue with posters of famous musicians and dancers. I learned within the first week of being here, Addison couldn't have babies. Her husband had been a soldier and was killed after two years of marriage. So she started fostering, finding which child to adopt. None stuck with her until I came. She said I was perfect. She informed with in the week I had came. Addison had weathly parents, and they supplied her with money. When they died, she got lots of money in the will but is saving it. She isn't the type to blow it on a mansion. Nope. She's fine with her apartment. She home schools me. Addison's the worrying type so this way I never stray from her sight. That doesn't bother me. I'd rather not deal with other kids. I heard a polite tap at my door. "This is your house." I yelled. "No need to knock."Addison hesitantly walked in. "Its only right. I got you a present." "You didn't have to." I said. Why was she so...so nice? I groaned quietly. "Well its fall and its been getting colder so I..." Addison presented me the bag. I carefully moved the tissue paper and revealed the jacket. It was a violet color. On the back was a pair of black ballet shoes made of a soft silk. My name was written in neon blue cursive on it. My name looked hand sowed on. "Did you sow my name?" I questioned. "Well...Do you not like it?" Addison worried. "No...I...Thank you, Addison." I wrapped my arms around her. Addison was estatic. She was almost glowing as she beamed at me. Maybe I didn't always hug her and this was special, but glowing, really? "I'm so glad you like it." Addison said. "I love it." I smiled. Her eyes became glossy with tears. "I'm going to watch my show. There's candy in the third cabinet if you need a snack before dinner." Addison grinned again and walked out. Her show was probably Dance Moms or Dr. Phil. I honestly don't care. I got up, stretched, and hooked up my DVD player. I popped in White House Down. It was my favorite movie ever! I loved it!I was watching, sketch book in hand, and started doodling. I laughed at that one part. I winced as I accidently stabbed my own hand with the pencil. I looked down at what I had drawn. One corner was a ballerina. And then the other was those blue eyes I had seen. Oh great. Now I need to find out who's eyes those are. No one should live in those houses. Maybe a ghost. I laughed. Ghosts aren't real. Hmmm. Vampire? No. I guess it doesn't matter. Its just eyes. Maybe I imagined them. I stretched my legs and thew my book onto the bean bag in the corner. I might as well nap until dinner in a few hours. I yawned and shut my eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

"Breakfast!" I heard Addison's sweet voice call. I stretched my legs and yawned.

"Coming!" I yelled. I wondered into the dining room. I looked at the small oak table made for four. Had her husband sat there?

"I made your favorite." Addison beamed.

"Thanks." I replied. I thought about it. Had she ever made anything she liked? She placed the bowl of cheese grits in front of me.

"Hey. Addison. What's your favorite food?" I asked. Addison stopped cutting the oranges.

"Hm. I like a nice caesar salad." Addison said. "Or fresh fruit salad."

"I love fruit salad." I smiled. Addison beamed again.

"Hurry up with breakfast." Addison said. "I made special plans."

"What kind of special plans?" I questioned.

"Just special." Addison replied. I couldn't help but admire her golden locks. Any girl would die for hair like that. Honestly she could be a model. My plain dark hair was nothing compared to it. I ate quickly, and gulped down my juice.

"I'll go get dressed." I said. I jumped off my stool and hurried away. I went to my room. I opened my drawers. Hmm...I grabbed black shorts, a plain blue top with the words 'Ballet is A Passion' , and the jacket I recieved from Addison. I slipped on my flats. Seems good enough. I slowly opened my door. No Addison. I darted to my bathroom and put on some eyeliner and mascara. I then put it back in its hiding place. Addison grinned as soon as she saw me.

"You look great!" She grinned.

"Thanks, Addy." I said. Addison smiled warmly.

Addison and I went out. I got into her red Ferrari.

"Seattle is lovely isn't it?" Addison asked.

"I once moved to Brooklyn." I said. " And to some other places. But some other places. Seattle is nicest."

"I've been here since I was 6. Before that I was in Hawaii. " Addison grinned. "I surfed with my baby sister."

"Your sister?" I looked curious.

"She died. Shark attack. I remember surfing with her." Addison had a dreamy look in her eyes.

"I've never went surfing." I admitted.

"I'll take you sometime. Family trip." Addison grinned.

"Family..." I muttered.

"We're going somewhere special." Addison sang.

"Where?" I questioned.

"Not telling!" Addison grinned. I groaned, quite displeased. Addison laughed at my face.

"But I wanna know." I know I'm whining like kid but...I wanna know!

"Your such a kid!" Addison giggled. "I love it!"

"Your such a adult!" I said in return. I thought about this surfing she talked about. I'd seen it before. Was it as easy as ballet? She suddenly swirved us. I almost fell from my seat. She immediatly jumped out screaming.

"What?" I gasped in panic.

"Spi...Spi...Spider!" She screeched.

"You almost killed us for a spider?" I questioned. She used her high heeled shoe to step on it. Then she straighten her shirt and got into the car.

"If we had crashed and died it would have been worth it. For the spider would have died too." Addison said immediatly. I blinked. Then I laughed hysterically. Her face twisted in confusion.

I finished giggling and she hit the gas. We pulled out and I sighed.

"Tell me!" I schreeched.

"Nope!" She yelled. She turned on the music.

" California girls, we're unforgettable, Daisy dukes, bikinis on top! Sunkissed skin, So hot we'll melt your popsicle! Oh oh oh ohhhhhhh! California girls, we're undeniable, Fine, fresh, fierce, We got it on lock! West coast represent, now put your hands up! Oh oh oh ohhhhhhh!" I sang along.

" Sex, on the beach, We don't mind sand in our stilettos! We fre-e-eak in my Jeep, Snoop Doggy Dogg on the stereo!" Addison joined in.

"You know Katy Perry?" I questioned.

"Psh. I loved her before you knew what she was." Addison grinned. I laughed.

For a second, I thought she was my mother. But she's not. Right...?

We stopped at a familiar dance studio. I almost cried at the sight.

"T-This is the..." I muttered.

"Your childhood dance studio. I rented it for the day." Addison seemed pleased. We got out and she got a bag out. She got out keys and opened the doors. She led me to a empty private room. A big screen was on the wall.

"What is..?" I muttered. She held the bag out.

"Go to the bathroom and change, please." Addison demanded. I took it and went to the bathroom. I quickly changed into a plain violet dress with silver trim, silver high heels came with too. I put the silver rose hair clip in my hair. I ran back to see the room black and a movie playing. I know that movie!

"Dirty Dancing!" I gasped. Addison beamed at me.

"I know its your favorite 80s movie." Addison grinned. "I can't teach you ballet but I'm going to teach you the dances from this."

"How do you know them? I questioned.

"It came out when I was 13 and I learned." Addison answered. We half watched and she pulled me close.

"Okay count to three and bend down." She said. I mentally counted and I bent backwards. She twirled. I squealed in surprise and worked on keeping my balance.

"I can't do the one part." Addison claimed. So she and I, while the actors did them on screen at the same time, danced. It was actually really fun! I enjoyed myself. A lot. When the movie ended, I changed into my other outfit.

"You ready to go?" Addison asked. I nodded eagerly.

"Hey...Um..." I muttered, as we made our way to the car.

"Yes?" Addison questioned, opening the doors.

"Thanks, Mom." I said quietly.

Addison started crying right then and there.


	5. Chapter 5

"You ready for church?" Addison said. I came out modeling my white dress. Addison pursed her lips and redid the bow I tied in the back. My heels clicked on our hard wood floor.

"Now your perfect!" Addison squealed. She helped me put on my golden cross necklace. We got into the car and left.

" I want Jesus to walk with me.

I want Jesus to walk with me.

All along my Christian journey.

I want Jesus to walk with me." I sang clapping.

I was raised a christian girl, relying on God all my life. I have never lost faith, even when I lost ballet. Church has always been my safe place. I hummed a few songs and sang the rest. I knew the pastor since I was at least 5. Her name is Lynn. She is the only female pastor I've seen. Quite a few people don't think a women should preach. I don't see the problem. I silently began praying for God to help me in my journey. I laid my head on Addison's shoulder as Lynn started.

"Jesus died for us. For us to be forgiven of sin." Lynn said."And to find Jesus in our hearts..."

I couldn't concentrate on her words. My head was spinning. I had a bad feeling. Everything was just noise. I hadn't felt good to begin with. I started counting. Maybe that would help me concentraten One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Elev- Boom! I felt myself get thrown into the stain glass window. I heard screams but I couldn't move. I was in a haze. What was going on? I opened my mouth but only blood came out. I gurgled it for a second. What is this?

I realized I was sinking in the ground. Had I fallen back down after hitting the window? I realized the church floor had sinken from the force of the blow. What was that? A bomb? Lightning? I shook my head, trying to clear it. What's going on? Addison..? Where's my Mom...I mean Addison. I looked around. Broken wood and blood. Concrete, dirt, bodies. I almost screamed. I crawled desperately towards the golden hair I saw. Addison...Her hair was mattered with blood and grime. Her head was bleeding and she had a big cut on her stomach.

"Mom!" I said. She didn't stir.

"Hey! Kid! Grab the rope!" I heard. I winced and grabbed it and then pulled me up. I didn't want to leave Addison. I remember them gasping as they looked me over.

"Y-Your leg!"

I glanced down. I almost screamed. My leg was half off. Shattered glass and rock were scattered in my leg everywhere. A huge piece was in it, I think it hit bone. I screamed, the pain finally hitting me.

"Hi. I'm a paramedic, okay, sweetie? Its going to be fine." A man said laying my on a gurney.

"N-No! Mom! Mom!" I screamed.

"Your mom is fine, calm down!" The paramedic said. I struggled.

"Mommy!" I yelled.

He held me down. What is going on? I started panicking. I couldn't breath right. Then I started coughing up blood.

"She's hemoptysis." He shouted.

"Hemoptysis. Blood is filling my lungs right?" I struggled out.

"How do you know that?" He asked getting a plasic tube out.

"I-I...studying to b-be doctor." I managed.

I blacked out after hearing doors slam and sirens go.

My eyes opened a few minutes later. I felt the gurney I was strapped to get moved down.

"Unidentified girl. Around 13. Responsive on field. Her leg is half off. Hemorrhaging. We had to put a chest tube in on the field. She was seated right over the bomb. Lucky kid." The paramedic reported. A blonde lady came into sight.

"Hiya. I'm Doctor Arizona Robbins. This is Doctor Alex Karev. It's going to be okay." The lady comforted. She turned to Alex.

"Paige Callie. Now!" She said. He nodded.

"Don't...I...need..l-l-leg." I tried breathing.

"Its going to be okay." Arizona looked worried. I took ragged breathes. I shook and looked around. Another woman came.

"Holy Crap! How is that still there?" She said. My eyes widen.

"Callie. She's awake. And wants her leg." Arizona said harshly.

"Sorry. I'm Callie. We're keeping the leg, okay." Callie said. I nodded. I hummed the song we sang at church.

"My count. One. Two. Three." She moved me to another bed. Then she put a tube in my throat and I winced as a needle went to my arm.

"Its going to be fine." Arizona whispered. I wanted to scream for my mom. To ask where Addison was. I needed her! Is she even alive? But I couldn't even speak with the tube. I felt my eyelids get heavy but I refused sleep. I needed my mom. My Addison. I strugged a little before it went black. Everything went black but what I saw before it did was Alex's horrified face.


	6. Chapter 6

Beep. Beep. Beep. I woke to a annoying beeping. I glared at the stupid heart monitor. I pushed myself up with my arms. "Oh! You're awake!" I turned. Arizona Robbins stood there. "Hello, Arizona." I said. "You remember what happened yesterday?" Arizona said. I nodded. "What's your name?" She asked. "Jaylyn Alvarez." I replied. "Nice to meet you, Miss Jaylyn." Arizona grinned. "How bad was the damage?" I questioned. "Your abdomen was completely torn open. There was some blood in your lungs but we cleared it up." Arizona explained. "Thank you. And what about the leg?" I grinned. My body was still numb and I barely felt anything. Arizona hesitated. Why would she hesitate? "My friend, Callie Torres, tried very hard. She managed to reattach the leg. You have had a fever for quite awhile. The infection was too severe. It was making you sick and so we had-" Arizona started explaining. "Is the leg there or not?" I felt my lip quiver. I kept my eyes glued to hers, to scared to look down. I didn't move. Arizona's mouth opened slowly then shut. She bit her lip. I nodded slowly. "Okay. Okay." I muttered. Not looking down, I grabbed the edge of the blanket and yanked it up. I ran my hands over my left leg. Okay. That one is in tact. I started from my thigh and ran it down my right leg. My eyes never left Arizona's. I touched my knee and then it stopped. My hand found no more leg. It stopped at my knee. I left out a strangled cry. "You stupid idiot! I told you not to! You had no permission!" I screamed at her. "Jaylyn..." Arizona said. "Get the hell out! I hate you! Go cut off your damn leg off!" I screamed. I grabbed a flower vase from off the table and threw it at her. She yelped and dodged the flying glass. She hurried from the room. I started sobbing into my hands. My leg is gone. It is gone. And it's this damn hospital's fault. I'll sue this place. They had it attached. And them cut it off because of a fever. A stupid fever. My body trembled and I let out small screams. I felt selfish. I asked of my leg before I asked of Addison. That made me feel worse. My mother is either dead or horribly injured. At this time I wished I had died. I'm so selfish. I kept sobbing. I have no idea how long I did this. Finally I felt my eyes dry. I must be out of tears. A nurse opened the door. "Miss, I need to check your vitals." She said coming closer. I grabbed a clock off the stand and chucked it at her. It bounced off her forehead and hit the floor. A bit of blood came from her wound and the clock laid broken with the glass. She ran out in tears, slamming the door behind her. I glared at the dumb and stupid mess. I have a bit of OCD. I need to clean the damn mess up. I noticed the three from before, Alex, Arizona, and Callie, watching me from the big window. I sighed, moving the blanket again. I looked at the nub that was my leg. I let out another strangled cry but had no more tears. I hate this place! I hate everything. I ripped off whatever those stupid stickers they use for your heart monitor. I hate those too! I hate everything. I moved to the side where my leg was still there. I hesitantly moved onto that leg, dragging my right side with me. I grabbed hold of the side bars and lowered my left leg to the ground. It is so freaking cold. I hate that too! I felt new tears gather in my eyes. I grabbed the bar with the other hand, so both held on. I made myself stand on my one leg. It's like when dancing. What one leg is raised and one is on the floor. Keep your balance, I told myself. I winced in agony as my right nub, as I call it, sent shooting pain up it. I wanted to cry. I moved one hand to another bar and hopped. I screamed in pain this time. I moved the hand, ignoring the pain. As I reached the end of the bed, there was no more areas to grab. I let go and kept my balance. Think of it as dancing. It's dancing. It's dancing. I tried convincing myself. New form of ballet. The ground then came closer to my face. I hit the ground. I screamed again. And again. And again. I crawled towards the mess I made. They watched me as I screamed and crawled. I just kept screaming, my eyes blurry with tears. I started picking up glass and clock parts blindly. They cut into my hands. I just kept moving it. Finally I threw it into a pile and leaned my head onto the wall near me. I covered my face with my bloody hands and started sobbing. My screams turned into sobs. I couldn't take this. Finally the man, Alex Karev, burst in. He picks me up off the ground. I screamed louder. "Alex!" Arizona exclaimed. Alex set me back on the bed. "Hey, hey, hey!" Alex said grasping my face, trying to get my attention. I just kept crying and screaming. Arizona and Callie stood to the side. I hate this so damn much. My church blew up. My church blew up! My safe place blew up! And my leg is gone. Damn it! Alex was talking but I barely listened. Why did they even bother? "GET OUT! GO AWAY!" I screamed. I had nothing more to throw. Arizona and Callie left, looking sad and compassionate. Alex didn't though. Finally I lifted my hand and back handed him. It pushed him a little. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DAMN ROOM, YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" I roared. He moved slowly. He cleaned up the mess. He threw it in the waste basket and then walked out. I saw all three of them glance at me through the window. I screamed and threw the blanket over me. God I hate this. Why me? Why me? 


End file.
